A FRIDAY MEDITATION – What’s Up?

Many are the plans of a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. – Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)

I have been thinking about discernment. Particularly mine. I want to discern if the things that I have been doing are still what God wants me to continue, or if he has something else in mind for me now that I am older and my energy is less. I have a wee tiny niggling in the back of my mind that he has a little something, but maybe not. He may still be just fine with what I am doing.

As a spiritual director, I often get the questions: How do I get still? How can I listen and Pay Attention to God? How can I see Jesus? How do I discern God’s will? All are great questions.

Discernment of God’s will, or any discernment for that matter, is a process. Finding God’s will requires a real desire to know it and a commitment to follow God’s direction when we find it. If we put stipulations on what we will do or not do, we will not get discernment. Unless, of course, like St. Paul, we get knocked off our ride and blinded for a few days. That’s a new way of seeing. We can’t limit God to certain ways of communication.

Discernment isn’t a decision-making process and what God has in mind for us isn’t always easy to discern. He doesn’t often write his desires for us on a wall or on auto-correct, although he has been known to do so. He has as many communication skills as he wants to use, so prayer is essential. However, there are other helps. Part of my job as a spiritual director is to accompany people during their discernment process – help them ask the questions they need to ask and discover the blocks they may have to hearing God’s will and carrying it out.

Thomas Green in “Weeds among the Wheat” has a suggestion I find most useful, which is to give God what Tom calls a “blank check.” We need to be willing for God to write on that check what he desires to give us. This helps us become willing to find God’s way rather than being willful and wanting our own way. And did I mention prayer?

Frederick Buechner writes – “Vocation comes from the Latin vocare, “to call,” which means the work a person is called to by God. There are all different kinds of voices calling you to all different kinds of work, and the problem is to find out which is the voice of God rather than of society, say, or the superego, or self-interest.…. The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the worlds deep hunger meet.” ~ “Wishful Thinking”

“Gladness” or “Passion” is very important in discernment. What is it that gives you life? Passion for God’s call gives energy so if it is lost in what we’re doing perhaps God is calling us to something new. Although, there are other reasons that passion or gladness might be lost, burnout and/or depression, for example, so this needs discernment, also.

If, in our process we hear from God, as a friend of mine often does, “Keep doing what you’re doing”, we are most likely already doing what God has in mind for us now. In which case, we continue on continuing on.

As usual, I have a story. Many years ago, I was reading the story of the raising of Lazarus from the dead. Jesus directions to his friends, “Unbind him and set him free” (John 11:44b) jumped off the page for me. I believed God was speaking and after some prayer, I enrolled at Aims and started taking psychology and counselling classes. I planned to become a family counselor. I had no idea that God had a slightly different calling than I thought, though the classes I took are very useful. They give me another eye through which to see as I offer spiritual direction, even though spiritual direction is not counselling. A friend who was attending St. Thomas Seminary called me and said there was a program for spiritual directors there and that I should take it because I was always asking what God was doing in any situation. So, what was the process.

First –Prayer was the most important part of my process. I had a niggling sense that I needed to be doing something to “unbind and set free”. And I wanted more than anything else to want what God wanted. Then I took a step of faith and began. I had a sense of where I was heading, but it wasn’t complete – only the first step. And then, more prayer.

Occasionally, God’s call comes in a blazing bush. I have had a few. There is hardly any room for doubt, but the call still needs some discerning. Thomas Green says that discernment isn’t possible if you already know what you are to do, but I don’t always trust my hearing. Most often, there is peace when the discernment is finished. So for now…

Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word. – Proverbs 16:1 (MSG)

Advertisements

A FRIDAY MEDITATION – It’s Random.

O my soul, created to enjoy such exquisite gifts, what are you doing? Where is your life going? ~ John of the Cross

I have no inspiration today, no words of wisdom to share.  As I review other writings I have done at this time of year, I notice that this is common.  Somehow I run out of words in early November, but I do have some random thoughts.

I have been meditating on the quote above by St. John of the Cross.  I don’t exactly feel at a crossroads, but maybe I’m reviewing.   Am I doing what God wants me to be doing at this time in my life or am I doing what I am for my own reasons?  I don’t know, but I hope it is the former. I asked God, “Would you ever have imagined that I would be doing the things I am doing today? You know, spiritual direction, writing, praying with others for healing, and teaching?  I didn’t.” Immediately, I had an inner sense of God with an impish grin, sparkling eyes and a good deal of inner laughter, who said, “I know, isn’t it great.” This didn’t really answer my question of where my life is going, however.

I decided, this week, to look for the Kingdom of God. Here is what I noticed:

A 9News story about a homeless man and his 10 year old daughter living in his broken down car.  He had lost his job because he couldn’t get to work.  His daughter’s school suspected this and intervened.  The Denver community helped him find a subsidized apartment, a job, furnishings for the home, clothes, food and cash until he could start getting money, again.  The Kingdom of God at work, yes?

A Facebook story about a high school student, now a football player, who earlier was so miserable he planned to kill himself.  Before he actually did, he cried out to God and asked God to show himself if he was real.  God did, and the boy’s life was changed.  When he played and made a touchdown, he would kneel down and point to God above.  He did this to remember and acknowledge all God had done for him.  The player was told that he could not continue doing this or he would not be allowed to play. Though it hurt him, he complied.  The next time he made a touchdown, he turned to walk off the field.  As he did, crowds in the stands stood and pointed up toward God.  Kingdom work?  I believe so.

Many Facebook friends are posting positive and inspiring things that counteract the negative, even evil, posts that abound.  I have done this since I joined the site several years ago.  We try to help in spreading the Kingdom of God, so it can be seen, in this way.

The miracle story of my brother who had serious injuries earlier this year.  The doctors didn’t think he would live, but if he did, he would lose both legs.  Something inside him, God, gave him the will to live and he began to get better.  He did lose one leg and is still in assisted care, but he wrote this week, that in two weeks, he will get his new manufactured leg and continue his process of healing. The Kingdom of God.  Yes. Thank you, Jesus. I am so grateful.

Hasn’t this been the most beautiful fall?  It’s been vibrantly alive with God’s glory. Thank you.

I don’t know the answers to the questions that St. John asks above, but I will continue to listen for them as I seek to spread God’s Kingdom.

In what ways have you noticed God this past week?

“I believe that home is Christ’s kingdom,
which exists both within us and among us
as we wend our prodigal ways
through the world in search of it.” ~ Frederick Buechner