A FRIDAY MEDITATION – Power from Above

“You are witnesses of these things. And see, I am sending upon you what my Father promised; But you must wait in the city until the power from above comes down upon you.” ~ Luke 24:48-49

This coming Sunday is Pentecost which celebrates the coming of the Holy Spirit to the Church and, therefore, to you and me. Perhaps, I should say something about this – but what?

This story comes to mind. It is a witness story of Jesus and his story with me. I had been a spirit filled and released apprentice of Jesus for some time so I was no stranger to what the Spirit will and can do in, to, with and through a person. However, I was a newly certified spiritual director when this event took place.

I was asked to lead a weekend retreat for a women’s group from another church. I believe in doing my homework, so I prayed and tried to prepare.  Absolutely nothing came to me.  I jotted down a note or two, but…! When time came to leave for the retreat, I grabbed a couple of books thinking I could always read something and let them spend time meditating. This was not a silent retreat, so this could be very interesting.

When I walked into the retreat place, the music team was practicing a song I love, so perhaps, everything would work out. I had brought along a couple of parishioners from our church who would be praying for me. I don’t exactly remember what happened, but we did begin with music. We sang.  The woman who put together the retreat said things.  I probably had a few introductory remarks. The first thing I do remember, other than music, was the prayer stations we had. The two ladies I brought with me manned one of them.

What followed, I remember with great clarity. I wrote it down. I hadn’t planned to go for prayers, but I felt a little God nudge. I would wait until the station which my friends manned was empty.  (Because the other ladies might be intimidated praying for the leader, perhaps. Hmm, bit of ego there it seems. Not one of my better thoughts.) The real reason – I am introverted and I was scared because I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t want to walk across the room where people could watch me. Jesus did not agree with my plan and told me to go there, anyway. Ok, then…

I did and I asked for something, probably. The instant their hands touched me, I was on the floor. This happening is sometimes called “slain in the Spirit” but I prefer “resting in the Spirit” – it’s not as violent sounding.  Whichever – I felt very much at peace and held as I lay there.  Of course, every eye in the room was focused on my prone body. So much for introversion – just sayin’. I could hear my friends telling folks that I was alright. This has happened to me only once and in retrospect, I don’t think it was really for me anyway, or at least only partly.

I got up from the floor and returned to my seat beside the woman in charge. She said, “Interesting.  I doubt if the ladies know what happened.”  WHAT!! The name of the group, being what it was, led me to believe that they would know about these things. I must explain it. So, I talked about the Holy Spirit, about spiritual gifts, about resting in the Spirit, about tongues, about healing and, most likely, other Jesus things as well.

So, the retreat continued.  I read something from the book I brought.  There was laughter. We had more singing, a break, and another evening session. Then, it was time for prayer again. A woman, that I knew from this congregation, who had MS, came up to my station using a walker. She had been in a wheel chair. She said, “I want all that the Holy Spirit wants to give me.” Alright!!  I prayed for the Holy Spirit to do just that and she started to fall.  I grabbed her and lowered her to the floor.  Her friend was concerned but I assured her that she would be fine.  I kept my eye on her as we prayed for others.  When she started to stir, I went to her.  She said that her legs were burning and she had had no feeling in them for a long time.

My first thought – I am so very proud of this – was, “Oh, no.  God wants to heal her.” Isn’t that great? I really trusted God, but I wasn’t sure of me. I had to continue, however. I was the retreat leader.  Or so I had thought. I turned to the ladies and told them that God wanted to heal Bernice, and I asked others who felt comfortable praying for healing to join me in laying hands on her. It’s better that way, anyhow.  More community like. We prayed, she got up from the floor and started walking around.  Her friend’s jaw hit the floor – probably others as well –  as we watched her dance around.  The word was that Bernie didn’t sit down all night. The last I heard, she hasn’t yet.

I certainly would not have planned the weekend this way, but God had his dreams for this congregation, so he took over.  I was called to be there as part of it and I am still amazed.  God can do some pretty good work through scaredy-cats.  Even introverted ones. Sometimes, he lets them know.

Two years ago, at convention, I ran into a woman from that group. She told me that I had no idea what had happened after that weekend. There had been all kinds of confusion and dissension in that congregation about gifts of the Spirit and whether you needed to speak in tongues to show that the Spirit had filled a person. It was tearing the congregation apart. After this weekend, it all went away.  There was healing in the congregation as well. Wow!! Thank you, Jesus!!

I don’t know how to end this writing and it’s already long…so, be not afraid.  God does have his dreams and his ways.  “And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” ~ Esther 4:14

…you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” ~ Acts 1:8

 

 

A FRIDAY MEDITATION – Way of Life

 

“Discipline means to prevent everything in your life from being filled up.  Discipline means that somewhere you’re not preoccupied.  In the spiritual life, discipline means to create that space in which something can happen that you hadn’t planned or counted on. ~ Henri Nouwen

Last week I wrote about our Baptismal Covenant wherein I had discovered a Rule of Life built into it. It’s a simple rule of life, but not necessarily simple to live.  Part of the reason for this problem is that we don’t actually plan on how to we are going to execute it.

This week is a about the “whats” and the “how-tos”.  If we only have a rule that we aren’t tending, it will soon become pushed into the “sometime I might do this” part of our lives.  What to do and how to do it, specifically and personally, is what a rule is about.  The elements of the way are only an outline. What will I/we choose to do in each element and how will I personally live this out in my life is the question. Since what I am writing about this week is a continuation of what I wrote before, and if you haven’t a clue and really want to know what I’m talking about, let me know.

Whichever rule you choose will work if there are elements in it that help us carry out our promises made at our Baptism, grow spiritually, and become transformed into the image of Jesus. I often prefer to use the word “Way” rather than the word “Rule” because Rule sounds so much like law when all it really means is a way to measure and a way to grow in loving God and loving our neighbor. 

 I am a closet Benedictine, so when I began a way of life, I chose the method used by Cursillo printed on their Rule of Life Card. This is a modified Benedictine rule.  St. Benedict’s Rule was divided into regular daily periods of communal and private prayer, sleep, spiritual reading which is mostly scripture, and manual labor, which in modern times was modified into other forms of work that we do. In that case, we should probably add exercise to our way.  There was no need for that in Benedict’s time. I like that Benedict added sleep to his Rule.  I’m thinking of adding it to mine. Although, what Benedict called for here may be close to what I get when I don’t think I’m getting much.

 This rule includes Piety (Seek Holiness – prayer); Study (Learn the Story); and Action (Evangelism – Tell the story, Serve Others, etc.) There is a Check-in (accountability) method used in small groups – How is this way working for you and what action have you done to spread the Kingdom of God that you planned to do in the past week? It is strongly suggested that you share this plan and the results of it in your life with a spiritual director. This whole way (or rule) is to take place within the context of community (continue in the Apostle’s Teaching, the breaking of bread and in the prayers).

 How did I make my way specific? I already was receiving Holy Communion twice a week when it was available. I began making sacramental confessions from time to time.  I spent time in prayer, quite often reading those from the Book of Common Prayer.  I read some scripture, often it was the Bible verse at the top of a meditation from “Forward Day by Day” that was my daily reading. It took me some time before I was very faithful in the reading and study of the Bible. My action and service to others varied and usually took place in a group.  I met with a small group, weekly, to pray and to share how I have been accountable to my plan and to God. It is permissible to start small with your “Rule” and let it grow in you.

I had a way to go, and let me tell you a secret.  I still do. I have grown, and continue to grow, and how I follow my “way”, now, is quite a bit different than it was, but it is also quite a bit the same.  That’s what 40 or 50 years of being reasonably faithful will do to a person. Several, well many, years ago, I added play to my rule of life.  I had almost forgotten about that.  See, we need diligence. I will need to figure what I can do about this.  Deliberately planning what I will do in each element of my rule and planning when I will do what I have chosen is the key. My rule, at this time of my life, is a combination of the Trinity Way of Life, Daughters of the King’s, and my old sort of Benedictine Rule. They mesh well.

What will you choose for your way of life? It might very well be the Trinity Way.  It may be another one. If you are just starting out, don’t overwhelm yourself. Remember that Fr. Jack told us to start out in “Pay Attention (prayer)” by spending 10 seconds, yes – that’s right 10 seconds, paying absolute attention to God.  Do the same with the other elements of your way.  If you need some help getting started, give a holler. You will be amazed at what this does.

Bless the Lord, O my Soul, O my Soul.  Worship his holy name.Sing like never before, O my soul. I’ll worship your holy name. ~ Matt Redman

 

 

 

A GOOD FRIDAY MEDITATION

 GOOD FRIDAY

John – Chapters 18 & 19

What can one say on Good Friday that has not already been said? The story is very familiar to all of us and there are so many great meditations already written, why should I write another? Well, for two reasons—because I can, but really because in order to get into the story, I need to meditate on it. Writing helps me do this.

Our children hated Good Friday. They thought it was gruesome so they didn’t want to go to church that day to be reminded. An old Johnny Hart cartoon comes to mind. In it, Person 1 says: “I hate the term ‘Good Friday!’” Person 2: “Why?” P1. “My Lord was hanged on a tree that day.” P2. “If you were going to be hanged on that day, and he volunteered to take your place, how would you feel?” P1. “Good.” P2. “Have a nice day.”

Perhaps, Person 2 should say, “Have a Good day,” but it doesn’t really look or feel like a good day, does it? A Good day almost requires standing on the other side of the cross from where the disciples are standing, and that’s not where we are today. Jesus and his disciples start in a garden. He asked that they stay awake and pray for him and for themselves but they couldn’t stay awake. They will fail again, today. Watch as the story unfolds.

Judas brings soldiers and police to the garden where he knows Jesus is so they can arrest him. Was that a glance between Judas and Jesus? Even though, Jesus knows what is happening, this must be a blow. We, his disciples have no clue. What are we thinking, now? We don’t understand all of his teaching, but we have seen the works of God that Jesus has done. Are we wrong about Jesus being the Messiah? Why is he being arrested? Why doesn’t he stop this? Peter, again, takes matters into his own hands, draws his sword and cuts off a slave’s ear. Jesus rebukes him and says something about drinking from a cup his Father has given him. What cup?

These, and more, are the stories of today—humiliation stories, rejection stories, abandonment stories, stories of torture, ugly stories. The disciples run away, Peter denies knowing him, the Jewish leaders that he had hoped to turn around rejected him. The women and maybe one or two other disciples watched him die. But, Jesus’ love and purpose transcends his disappointment and pain. And ours. Unconditional love has a way of doing this. This is the story of Love – the greatest Love Story – and this is our story, too.

Questions for reflection: If this is our story, too, what does that mean to me? When can’t I stay awake? What am I afraid will happen if I do? What will staying awake require of me? When do I take matters into my own hands instead of waiting for God’s purpose to unfold? When do I try to force into being what I believe God’s purpose to be? How have I failed Jesus, lately? Will I ever be able to love like Jesus does?

“And can it be that I should gain an interest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain—for me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be, that Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be, that Thou, my God, shouldst die for me? – Charles Wesley

(dlw 2014, revised 2017)

Out of the depths, I cried…

Holy Spirit(Part 2)

With my voice I cry to the LORD; with my voice I make supplication to the LORD. I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him. When my spirit is faint, you know my way. ~ Psalm 142:1-3

“And see, I am sending upon you what my Father promised…” –  Luke 24-49

This IS a tough assignment. I’m a little nervous now that I know God uses autocorrect.  No telling what he will say.  Maybe I wasn’t listening very well.  In case you don’t remember or didn’t read last month’s SOUL FOOD, with a little help from said Autocorrect, God asked me to tell my story with the Holy Spirit.  Since the Spirit was active in my life before I ever knew the Spirit existed, it’s a long story so I’m writing it in installments.

When I left off last month, we were living in El Paso, Texas where Dave was stationed.  We had three small boys by then, and had decided that we wanted them to learn about Jesus in church and that we needed to take them. We returned to the church of our childhoods even though, we were beginning to believe that God was not the waiting-until-you-sin-so he-can-punish-you God. Toward the end of our time in Texas, Dave had the opportunity to have a family accompanied tour in Italy for four years.  At the same time, he found that there was an opportunity for the Army to send him on a two-year assignment to CU Boulder to finish the degree he had started before we got married.  For some, then unknown, reason, I felt strongly that the Colorado University thing was going to happen so Dave turned down the Italy tour before he knew if he might be offered the school option.  We couldn’t wait to see.

Boulder was enjoyable.  We lived in campus housing and there were many little children around for our boys.  We learned what community meant here.  Although there was much community in the military, it wasn’t what we would come to know in our university experience. Half way through this two-year assignment, we had a daughter. You have heard this before, but it belongs in my story now because it was a turning point.

When Kim was born, she was tiny but perfect.  However, before we got out of the hospital, she started having jaundice. She had two blood transfusions and needed to be monitored. My hospital stay was over, but I had to leave Kim there. That evening she began to have blood in her stool and they couldn’t find the cause.  The bleeding was getting worse.  Doctors decided that she needed to go to the military hospital, Fitzsimons, in Denver, so they took her by ambulance in the middle of the night. This was a few days after the big flood in 1965 and many roads were impassible. My doctor wouldn’t let me make the trip and anyway, I had three small boys at home.  I spent my night in prayer (You could call it that.)  I, alternately, begged God to heal Kim, but I didn’t believe God did that, anymore, and I begged him not to let her die.  Sometimes, I yelled at him.  It was a very long night.

Dave managed to get home that next morning – parents weren’t allowed to stay with children at the military hospital – and he informed me that they would do exploratory surgery at Noon if there was no improvement.  This was Sunday, so Dave called the pastor to tell him that we were going to stay home by the phone and asked them to pray.  For what, I wonder. Anyway, the members of the church stopped in the middle of the service and prayed for Kim, our little 5-pound daughter.  They didn’t believe that God healed, either. Then.  I imagine they prayed for the doctors and such.  At the very moment of that prayer, the bleeding stopped.  Maybe Kim managed to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment.  The bleeding did not just slow down, it stopped. Instantly.  The tough military doctor called it a miracle.  We did, too. And the people from the church as well.

I learned something about God that day. He does heal today.  He hears my prayers and answers them.  And I learned that he cared for me.  Luke 7 tells stories of Jesus healing and raising the dead causing crowds to follow him everywhere.  John’s (the Baptist) disciples came to ask Jesus, on John’s behalf, if he was the one for whom they were waiting.  Jesus told them to go tell John what they saw – the healings, the raising from the dead, etc. Then he says to the crowd, v. 24, “What did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed swayed by the wind? (…)” I read a meditation where the writer wonders what drew the crowd to follow Jesus around. The writer said that, most probable, it was the healings.  Perhaps so.  It worked for me.

A year later, Dave was to return to active duty. I was talking to a neighbor about church and how I wish there was one who believed that God worked in the world today.  I wanted a God that I could touch, a God who heard my prayers of desperation, a God who responded as I had experienced. She said, “I think you might like my church – St. Aidan’s Episcopal Church, Boulder.”  Dave took classes in the engineering building across the street from St. Aidan’s, so he went to their chapel and picked up The Book of Common Prayer (1928).  He read: “Ye who do truly and earnestly repent you of your sins, and are in love and charity with your neighbours, and intend to lead a new life, following the commandments of God, and walking from henceforth in his holy ways; Draw near with faith, and take this holy Sacrament to your comfort; and make your humble confession to Almighty God, devoutly kneeling.”

Then after the Confession, he read: “Almighty God, our heavenly Father, who of his great mercy hath promised forgiveness of sins to all those with hearty repentance and true faith turn unto him; Have mercy upon you; pardon and deliver you from all your sins; confirm and strengthen you in all goodness; and bring you to everlasting life; through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.”

 Dave said, “I think we have found what we have been looking for.”  At last!  As Frederick Buechner says, “It is not objective proof of God’s existence that we want but…the experience of God’s presence.” Yes! A God I could touch who touches me.  Before we left for Ft. Benning, Georgia, we were baptized at St. Aidan’s. My baptism, I believe, is when the Holy Spirit stopped hovering and started seriously meddling in my life.  Did I not somehow say he could…? And there’s more.

“But wait…”

 

 

 

A FRIDAY MEDITATION ~ Speak Peace

“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one.” ― John Lennon

A friend posted a meme on Facebook of a stick figure sitting cross legged on the floor in meditation pose.  He has one eye closed and one eye open. The caption reads, “I feel peace. I feel calm. I feel a hole in my sock.” I responded because I understand this problem and he suggested that it might be a meditation subject.  I wasn’t sure how, but it’s true, sometimes my meditation time has so many “holey” distractions, I can’t be still.

A Soul Friend wrote that we might pick a word to help focus us for the year.  That’s a great idea, and I thank her for the reminder. A focus word is very helpful in our prayer and meditation, but it can be helpful in everyday life, as well.  I couldn’t come up with one until yesterday when I picked the word, “PEACE.” I like this word because it helps me with distractions. I speak peace to worries, to pain, to anger, fear and whatever. It helps me quiet my mind and listen to Jesus or to just be present to and with him.

There is another issue into which I need to speak peace. For several years, I have predicted a revolution. There has been a deep-down sense that there would be one.  The world is in turmoil. Our nation is in turmoil.  We have a new president, and you know that up to this time, it has not gone smoothly.  Revolution has already begun and we will see, if we are looking, what God will do with it. Jesus followers are already revolutionaries, and he is our example of what we are to do.  If we need a refresher course, the place to start in the Bible is the book of Matthew.  I looked up “Jesus said…” on Bible Gateway and all but one reference was from Matthew.  The other was from John. As the revolution takes place, we will need to speak peace to many things. As Jesus followers, we may not always be able to be passive. There are times we may need to resist.  It has always been so.  Read and see.

There are at least three scripture passages from the Old Testament that have come to me the last few days.  The first is in Jeremiah 6:16 – “This is what the Lord says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, ‘We will not walk in it.’”

Joshua 24:15 – “If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” 

And Psalm 46:10 – “Be still, and know that I am God! I am exalted among the nations, I am exalted in the earth.” 

In addition to reading the Book of Matthew, I have been meditating on these verses. They help me with focus. It is in being still to know God that I find the “hole in my sock” distractions so often, lately.  But it is also what I need the most.  How else will I know what my particular marching orders are.  In stillness, I can say, “Lord, what will you have me do?” and, many times, hear an answer.  And it is here that I hear him say, “I love you; you are mine.” But, I may need to speak “peace” repeatedly to all those holes as I wait for stillness to come.

As I have said, today we have a new president – Donald Trump. Jesus followers are to pray for him regularly. See 1 Timothy 2:1-2. Every day is recommended. We are to pray even if he might not have been who we wanted or whether we agree with him. I offer this prayer.

  1. For the President of the United States and all in Civil Authority O Lord our Governor, whose glory is in all the world: We commend this nation to your merciful care, that, being guided by your Providence, we may dwell secure in your peace. Grant to [Donald Trump] the President of the United States, the Governor of this State (or Commonwealth), and to all in authority, wisdom and strength to know and to do your will. Fill them with the love of truth and righteousness, and make them ever mindful of their calling to serve this people in your fear; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, world without end. Amen. – Book of Common Prayer, p. 820; #19

In peace, we pray to you, O Lord.

A FRIDAY MEDITATION – Let it be so

When does an ordinary life become extraordinary? A mundane day become revolutionary? A moment in time change history? When God enters in, forgives sin, allows us to begin again. When we repeat those words of Mary – ‘May it be to me as you say’ ~ John Birch

Sometimes, when I read and pray with the Bible, I try to put myself in the story.  I try to notice what is going on, who the characters are, what the air is like, etc.  This meditation becomes part of my prayer and sometimes it takes on a life of its own, such as this time.

“As I sat in prayer this morning, suddenly (why is it always suddenly) a stranger stood before me, ‘Hello, Donna, chosen by God. God has sent me to tell you that he wants you to bear his Son. His Kingdom will be forever, and he will save his people from themselves!  You will call him Jesus.’

‘Huh? What? Who are you? You are scaring me.  And what are you talking about? Are you nuts?’

‘Don’t be afraid, chosen one. I am the angel, Gabriel, and God sends me to bring messages to people.   He has been waiting for you.  He so loves you and he wants you to be the mother of his son.’

‘Well, I do love God.  Always.  But have God’s Son.  What does that even mean?  I’m a virgin. Have you any idea what my mother would say.  She will lock me up with this crazy story.’

‘Donna, this baby is the Promised One who will save the people from themselves and show them the way to live.  You know, they keep getting it wrong.’

‘Do you mean the Messiah?  Is that who you’re talking about?’

‘Yes! God has been waiting for you. This is your part.’

‘Oh, boy! Hmm.  Holy cow!  Are you serious? Really? You can’t be serious.  Can you?’

‘I am serious.’

‘Ah yes, then, may it be to me as you say.’”

This is a simple story to bear such holy weight, isn’t it?  It reminds us of the One for whom we wait.  We have been waiting in Advent.  We are waiting to celebrate Jesus‘ birth and we wait for his coming again.  We wait for the Kingdom of God and for all to be restored.  At this moment, we live in the ‘between’ times – between his birth and his return. He has called us, his followers, to be his Body on earth until then. We who are baptized are re-membered, as we receive his Body and Blood in Holy Communion, to become his Body here on earth.  We are to fill the gap. We are to bear Jesus into the world, to tell the story, to do those things he did, show his love to others, to carry forth his light into the darkness and to participate in spreading God’s kingdom on earth. What an amazing and holy commission this is.

So, we wait.  God waits.  You, O highly favored one – God’s chosen – what is your part in bringing forth Jesus into the world?  And what is mine?  Will we say with Mary, “May it be done to me as you say?” Lord, grant us the Grace to answer, “Yes.”

Have a very Merry Christmas.  Stay Blessed favored one. Come Lord, Jesus!

We are all meant to be mothers of God. What good is it to me if this eternal birth of the divine Son takes place unceasingly, but does not take place within myself? And, what good is it to me if Mary is full of grace if I am not also full of grace? What good is it to me for the Creator to give birth to his Son if I do not also give birth to him in my time and my culture? This, then, is the fullness of time: When the Son of Man is begotten in us.” – Meister Eckhart

 

A FRIDAY MEDITATION – Log in My Eye

We are living in a world that is absolutely transparent and God is shining through it all the time. God manifests Himself everywhere, in everything–in people and in things and in nature and in events… The only thing is we don’t see it… I have no program for this seeing. It is only given. But the gate of heaven is everywhere. – Thomas Merton 

Over the last month, I have had cataract surgery in both eyes.  It has been a process, for sure, but the results are going to be great.  I just had my one week check-up on the second eye and everything is going well. As soon as I get my balance working better (another story), I will be better than new. 

Friends who have had this done told me that I would be amazed at the colors and how beautiful everything looks after the cataract is removed.  I don’t notice any difference in the colors – they hadn’t really changed for me. But now, I was able to read street signs again right after the first cataract was removed and the patch came off. Also, I could see a long way down a street on which I was traveling. Good news! One morning I was standing in the driveway looking at the leafless trees. Every little twig on them stood out with great clarity against the winter sky. It was absolutely stunning. I had not realized what I had been missing.

Standing in the middle of the driveway, pondering clarity and how something in the eye blocks vision was an eye-opening experience.  (No real pun intended…well, maybe.)  I was relating this story to my husband when the following verse came to mind.  I remember it best from the old King James Version of the Bible with which I was raised.  It says, in 1 Corinthians 13:12, “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.”  That started a meditation which led to this from Matthew 7:3ff, “Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while the log is in your own eye?” Yikes. 

When my spiritual eyes get clouded over with whatever, isn’t it likely that I don’t always see the face of Jesus in the places that he is, which is everywhere, including in your face?  Aside from the usual being human, that is, what have I missed and what has shrouded my eyes, recently? 

Being overwhelmed with what life has brought me this year has contributed to this, I believe.  I have been feeling pretty insecure and somewhat disconnected. I’m a bit off balance in more ways than one. Throw in a heavy duty case of introversion at the moment, which I can work around most of the time, and there I go. 

Wretched [female] that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” ~ Romans 7:24-25a.  Of course! One of the reasons Jesus came was to help remove the barrier between us.  Our spiritual disciplines can help us notice the ways he does this.  As you probably know, I usually try to spend two periods, each day, of 20 minutes each in silent prayer.  It is not going well at the moment.  I absolutely cannot get my mind to slow down. I need lots of help, Lord. Well, ask and you receive.  I read that in a Book, somewhere.  I am also reading a book, Life Lessons from a Bad Quaker: A Humble Stumble Toward Simplicity and Grace, by J. Brent Bill. He recommends taking 5 minute periods of time each day, as needed, to be still, breathe, and listen for God’s voice. To Pay Attention, if you will.  If I take all of these as needed moments, I might also be able to stumble through this with grace. Join me if you have any “as needed” moments.  The film may fall from eyes as we sit and as we wait.