A FRIDAY MEDITATION – In All Circumstances?

 

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

 

Last Friday was my birthday.  I was going to write this then, but it wasn’t ready.  I had far more to ponder before it would come together. Ten months ago, I did not know if I would be here for this birthday. Of course, we really don’t know if we will be here on any particular day, but we assume for the most part that we will.  Anyway, I am grateful for this gift because that is what my life is. I am grateful for this birthday.

 

The Saturday before, I spent about five hours in the ER.  I was sent there because of a persistent bad cough and the doctor believed there was fluid buildup on my lung.  When the ER doctor gave me an ultrasound, he couldn’t find enough fluid to cause that much problem.  So, there were other tests including a CT scan that was administered by a friend. Another gift from God, I believe, that helped me see and know his love and hers.  There was something (they don’t know what) that was mostly occluding the lung tumor, so they couldn’t see it well.  They are assuming that it has grown and that it was causing the problem with my cough. I didn’t mention the fact that I had been praying for God to put some sort of bubble around the tumor to keep it contained. I’m chicken, I guess. I am now on some different drugs that has stopped the coughing.  Thank God.

 

This was not terrific news for us and we are still praying for a miracle.  God is sometimes a last-minute God. We have seen that before.  However, I need to prepare because as the psalmist in Psalm 31 tells God, he knows that his times are in God’s hands and in Psalm 39 he tells God he knows that his days are numbered. Ours all are. My life is still in God’s hands. I’m scared, sometimes, but don’t tell anyone because I try to be and act more brave than I am, occasionally. Recently, I ran across a Snoopy cartoon where Charlie Brown says, “Someday we will all die, Snoopy.” And Snoopy, wisely, says, “True, but on all the other days, we will not.” So how do we not on other days?

 

I really try to stay in the moment.  When I find myself afraid, I remember that right at this moment, I am alive and, mostly, don’t feel too bad. I would like a bit more energy. On these alive days, I am too live my life serving and loving God and others. So, I take a deep breath and go on.

 

I have another confession, and this really does go along with what I’ve already written, so hang on.  I have been having trouble with my gratitude.  I’m grateful for the same things – family, friends, home, food, etc., but why not, right???  However, though I know they are gifts, I often take them for granted.  Something needs to change because I quit making a gratitude list. I had to do better than this.

 

I started reading a brand-new book by Diana Butler Bass (Grateful – The transformative power of giving thanks) She said that some of the things we put on our list, though gifts, are partly privilege. We work hard.  We are able to get things. We sometimes forget that being able to do that is Gift. But, how are we grateful for things we consider bad or that really are bad?  I do not believe that God gave me cancer.  God does not will illness.  But the world is broken and evil, also, exists.  God wills healing but sometimes it doesn’t happen.  What if my number is coming up sooner than later? How can I be grateful in all circumstances? Well, I changed my gratitude list to add some different things.  I am still grateful for the above as well.  Some of things I thank God for are:  Our Trinity community – a piece of the Kingdom of God on earth; the gift of another day; for God holding me when I had a rocky day and couldn’t go to work as I had planned. I’m thankful that I had the energy to make an apple pie (mostly) and for my husband who finished it when I ran out of steam.

 

I thank God for a good physical therapy session for my sore back; that I was able to go to a Vestry meeting at church; my daughters successful medical procedure and for the most part, I feel OK. There are more that I put on my list but ‘space’ you know.  It’s amazing what can be found to thank God for when things are the “bad times”.   Listing them, helps me stay in the moment and remember Snoopy’s wise words. “But on the other days we will not.”  We “Practice Gratitude” in all circumstances.

 

Do you remember my story of my prayer where Jesus was sitting away from me wearing a black belt which gave my cause to giggle?  Just this week while I pray, the image has changed to one of him holding me and me holding him. What bad times?

 

A friend, a couple of days ago, posted a song on Facebook which was what I so needed for that day – I Am, by David Crowder.  Here’s part of it. I had a little cry while it played.

 

There’s no space that His love can’t reach.

 

There’s no place where we can’t find peace

 

There’s no end to Amazing grace

 

Take me in with your arms spread wide

 

Take me in like an orphan child

 

Never let go, never leave my side.

 

(Chorus) I am…holding on to you. I am holding on to you

 

In the middle of the storm, I am holding on.  I am.

 

 

 

 

 

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A FRIDAY MEDATATION – Resurrection

Resurrection changes things.

Jesus himself appeared and stood among the eleven and said to them, “Peace be with you.” They were startled and terrified and thought that they were seeing a ghost. He said to them, “Why are you frightened, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? …While in their joy they were disbelieving and still wondering, he said to them, “Have you anything here to eat?” They gave him a piece of broiled fish, and he took it and ate in their presence.”—Luke 24:36-37

Easter was a beautiful day. The weather was perfect. Trees and flowers were blooming. Our services were beautiful—balloons, flowers, music, alleluias!! “The Lord has risen indeed. Alleluia.” Then louder – “THE LORD HAS RISEN INDEED! ALLELUIA!” Communion. Jesus. All creation sings along. So, why do we have doubts, today?

The disciples had this problem. Only a few had witnessed the crucifixion, but there were witnesses. Mary, and some of the other women, had been there and seen it all. Mary had stayed by his tomb, and she said that she had seen him alive. Others saw the stone had been rolled away and angels told them Jesus was no longer dead but had risen as he had said he would. There were rumors that he had appeared to others, too. But could it be true? What’s the problem?

I was touched by this reflection from Laura Darling in 50 days of Fabulous: “Why do doubts arise in our hearts? Because you were dead, that’s why! Not only merely dead, but really, most sincerely dead. May I say it again? Dead. Not resting. Not stunned. You had passed on, ceased to be, expired. You were bereft of life, you had kicked the bucket, you had shuffled off this mortal coil. You were dead and buried, and we were never going to see you again. That’s what death means, you know. It means separation. It means all last chances are gone. It means there’s no chance for anything to be any different between us.

“And now here you are, and it’s not a delusion, and you’re not a ghost, and you’re eating a friggin’ fish. So, forgive me if I’m a little wigged out here, but that’s not how life is supposed to go. It’s supposed to go in a certain direction. It’s supposed to allow for no revisions. What’s past is past, what’s done is done, what’s gone is gone, what’s dead is dead.

“I’ve got to tell you, Jesus, you have broken those rules so badly I don’t even know where to put them anymore. I don’t think there’s any charity that would take them, you’ve messed them up so badly. And now that those rules about the past and the future, death and life, you and me, are in the rubbish, I’ve got to ask you, what else are you going to change?”

What else is going to change? Why do we doubt? Why do we wonder if it is really Jesus showing up in our lives? Did he not say that he would? We could miss, in this story, that Jesus shows himself to the disciples while they are doubting. But, it doesn’t keep him away. Nor do ours. What are your doubts today? What are mine? Where is Jesus showing himself? What is changing? What is he resurrecting in you and me? Because, resurrection changes things. Alleluia!

Peace and good, Donna

(April 25, 2014)

A FRIDAY MEDITATION – Prayer First

I love you, O Lord my strength,
O Lord my stronghold, my crag, and my haven.
My God, my rock in whom I put my trust,
My shield, the horn of my salvation, and my refuge;
You are worthy of praise. ~ Psalm 18:1-2

I was going to write about discernment of spiritual gifts this past week, as I told you, but as sometimes happens, I am changing that. Last week, I couldn’t write even though I planned to do so and had some notes. I had an appointment with my oncologist that morning when we discussed my latest CT scan. It showed that my lung tumor has grown – I don’t know how much because I don’t think it’s in my best interest to know – and I had to deal with my thoughts and feelings about this even when I didn’t want to.

I haven’t wanted to bother you with my emotional states over the last six months because I don’t always have positive thoughts and feelings that I’m ready to share. None of us do no matter what our faces say. It just so happens that unless I tell it like it is, I can hardly write at all. So, this is a little longer but it’s time.

After the doctor told me the results of the scan, I was depressed. I had been feeling well for quite some time, except for a separate problem with my back which is not cancer according to the doctor. Because of that I had hoped that at the very least the tumor would not have grown and even that it might have shrunk. I didn’t really expect the results, but I was not surprised. It took me three days to get my head around it all. Questions filled my thoughts. What is this going to be like? How long will the process of dying take if that is what’s to be? What is heaven like? I must tell you that I never am comfortable doing something new and different. I always, always have anxiety about it. I like to know what I’m getting into and even though there are indications about it all, there it is. I’m anxious. Or was. I don’t know how long I have, but then we never do, really.

I am still praying for a miracle, even more so now, and imagining my tumor gone and my lungs clear. I pray for the darkness to leave them and to be filled with the light of Christ. I still know that Jesus healed those who came to him for healing. I believe he still does so. My prayers come from that knowledge, however, I have moments of doubt. At those times I need to remember, as I did at the beginning of this, to hang on to the hem of Jesus robe and not let go.

During my prayer time on the third day, Sunday, the words, “ACT HEALED”, impressed themselves on me. Act Healed. Can I do that? Isn’t it rather silly to act healed when obviously the CT scan says otherwise? You might ask. The answer is “Yes”. And “No”. Yes, because it not very real is it? Should I not stay with reality and prepare. No, because acting healed can keep me in the moment. It keeps me from having panic attacks, even minor ones. I stay with how I feel overall instead of counting every little twinge of pain. I remember who loves me. I remember whom I love. It helps me focus on something other than illness. There may be days when this acting might be difficult to carry out, but I’ll try. So far, I’m doing ok. I am sleeping better than I was. I was in the office two days this week. I laugh.

I’m still working on things that need organizing. I am giving away some trinkets and heirlooms to family members and fixing my genealogy program. I want to throw out some old files. These things have needed doing, anyway.

Last Friday – I had intended to write about this last week – the Gospel Lesson from Morning Prayer was the story of the raising of Lazarus (John 11:17-27, 38-44). As I read this I was struck by the fact that in this story, Martha is the sister that runs down the road to meet Jesus, even though she rebukes him for not coming in time. Mary is the one who stays behind. I was, for some reason struck by the role reversals from the story when Jesus went to dinner at their house and Mary was the one who sat at Jesus’ feet while Martha was preparing lunch for their guest (Luke 10:38-42). Martha was upset because Mary wasn’t helping, and when she complained Jesus told her that Mary had chosen the better way. I doubt if that seemed fair to Martha. In the Lazarus story, I had always assumed that Mary stayed behind because she was angry with Jesus and wasn’t going to run to him on the road. But as I meditated on this, I remembered that there was a house full of guests who had come to pay respects and she had to be the hostess. Hospitality was at stake.

What do these stories say to me? What does Jesus want me to know here? I think it is that spending time with Jesus is my top priority. First prayer and then work and whatever. Both are necessary. I just need to get them in the right order.

Especially now.

“I have to stay close enough to the Word to hear my Father’s voice.
And in the stillness, our Father’s voice calls and there is a moving back closer to hear Him —we need the person of God more than we need the plan for our life.”—Ann Voskamp

Blessings, Donna

 

A FRIDAY MEDITATION – With Gratitude

 

All day long I hope in Your goodness.

Remember Your love,

The love that You promised long ago.

And the kindness that you

Gave from of old.

 

Refrain: To You, Yahweh, I lift up my soul O my God.

To You, Yahweh, I lift up my soul, O my God.

~ Tim Manion, “I Lift Up My Soul

 

 

 

I just don’t know what to write about anymore. I have a hard time getting my mind to focus. The thoughts that go through my head are full of me.  I’m being so self-focused. How do I feel today? I can’t seem to concentrate or meditate.  Sometimes I’m a bit afraid and I need to give myself a good talking to. People ask how I am and all I know to say is, “I’m hanging in there.” Or “I’m ok.” And I am ok, even when I’m not. This meditation is days late and I had it mostly ready on Friday of last week. I just couldn’t finish it.

 

 When a person is seriously ill, all of one’s days seem to be the same.  Or at least it seems so to me. I can plan to do a certain thing, but I may not feel well enough to do what I plan. Or I might have a doctor’s appointment somewhere.  In the last four months, I have been in the hospital four times and in ER three or four as well. I have said, often, that I try to stay in the moment because that is the place I really live.  I don’t live in yesterday and I don’t live in tomorrow, but really living today is, many times, difficult.

 

I had an appointment with the cancer nurse about two weeks ago and she told me that the doctor is not going to give me the cancer drug again. That’s good because we’ve tried it twice.  I have had two episodes of septic shock while taking it – the second episode was the very day that I restarted it. My last two hospital stays were because of serious reactions to that medication and those episodes have really sapped my energy. The first one nearly killed me. My life now, for sure, is in the hands of God, but then, life really is anyway, isn’t it? I continue to hang tight to the hem of Jesus’ garment. But there are other things I can do.  God things. Jesus things.

 

 I can, and have decided to, take something from each day that comes.  I can focus on where I have noticed the presence of Jesus this day. What has God given to me? What joy? What insight? What sense of his presence? What God moment? What gratitude? What event took place? Perhaps a disappointment. What did God teach me through that disappointment? When in this day was I closest to God? When did I feel far from God or did I? Where did I see light today? When did I give it? For what was I grateful today? Most grateful? In our evening prayer I can, and did, talk this day over with Jesus.

 

Part of this exercise is called the Examine of Consciousness (awareness). This is NOT the Examination of Conscience used for preparation before making a confession. The Examine was developed by St. Ignatius Loyola but I have added some of my own questions for reflection.

 

These last two weeks I’ve been trying to deliberately be more aware of God in my day. Since Thanksgiving was yesterday, my main focus for the week has been on gratitude and giving thanks. Sometimes, when a grateful thing happens, I send myself a note so that I don’t forget these things at the end of the day and can list them.

Included in my list for the last two weeks of gratitude are thanksgivings for the many prayers being said for my healing and for comfort for my family

For delicious meals brought in

 

For a warm fire on a cold, grey day, watching the flames and feeling God’s presence

 

Feeling better and stronger some days

 

Being able to do a few household chores

 

Being able to sing a bit more

 

My voice is stronger

 

Good day with Soul Friends

 

I walked around the block.  Ok, it’s a long block. Without backup.  First time in awhile.

 

 See how much better I feel after just listing some of my grateful things.  I thank God for them and you. If you want to know more about the Examine, let me know,

 

 When you’re looking for JOY, you will always find it hiding in your GRATITUDE ~ unknown

 

 May you find many grateful things the rest of this Thanksgiving week for which you want to thank God. 

 

 Peace and Good, Donna

 

A FRIDAY MEDITATION – It would be easy

But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. ~ Psalm 3:3

If things keep continuing as they have been the last four months, I’m going to need to rename A Friday Meditation to A Saturday Meditation. Friday appears to be taken over by the medical people in my life for the moment.

It’s been almost five weeks since I had the serious septic shock episode. I am, finally, feeling a bit stronger. The pain in my back is lessening and my stamina (what stamina?) is increasing by micro amounts. But it is increasing, and I thank God for that.
This has been a challenge on so many fronts.

It would be easy to feel discouraged.

It would be easy to fear starting my cancer meds again even though it is a smaller dose.

It would be easy to worry if the medicine will do anything, now, in this dose even when the larger dose was helping.

It would be easy to be afraid of having another serious episode of something.

These are all within the realm of possibility, but if and when I do go there in my mind, I am nowhere near the present moment where I want to remain. I forget who holds the reigns on this journey. I forget that I am to hold on to his garment, and I lose my peace. I don’t like to lose my peace because I am likely to find myself in the middle of all of the “Why doesn’t God….” or “Why does God…” questions which just aren’t helpful to me.

What is helpful is to remember that Jesus is about loving and about healing. He was about it while he was on earth and he is about it still. He still works what we call miracles and he works through his body on earth the church and those who make up the church if we let him. He works through the doctors that he has called into that ministry. For me, he has already done many healings and savings over the last four months. I remember those and replace my worries with Himself.

Today is the feast day of St. Jude, one of the twelve apostles. Traditionally, he has been called the saint of lost causes or last resorts by those who add saints to their prayer chain and ask them to pray for us in our need. Jude is rather a favorite of mine because of an incident that happened over 20 years ago. Many of you know this story, but it is worth repeating here, I think.

I was on my yearly retreat to Sacred Heart Retreat House. On the grounds there is a statue of St. Jude. I would walk out every year and pray there. I was concerned for a son. This day was the last day of the retreat and I was particularly concerned. As I stood there, a blue bird landed on the base of the statue. He cocked his head one way or another, several times, as he looked at me. Then he said, “With Jesus there are no lost causes.” I have never, either before or since, seen a bird like that there. Only that day. When I got home I learned that our son had killed himself. But I knew that he was not lost. God has him. I remember this story on St. Jude’s day and many other days as well. And Jesus has me. And you.

A few weeks ago, I told about a dream I once had. An image dream of a broken flower pot on the floor behind a bare altar. Dirt was scattered around from the broken pot but a vine was growing from it and climbing up the altar. I haven’t come across the meditation I wrote but I did have a couple notes in my journal. I reflected that the vine was me climbing out of messy brokenness onto the altar where there is regularly bread and wine served – Jesus body for my body. At one time in my life having communion twice a week meant I could make it through the week without hiding in my basement afraid. If I didn’t, I couldn’t. Jesus body saved my body.

Over the last few weeks, as I have thought about this image, I saw the vine as the “Vine” – Jesus. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ~ John 15:5

The two vine images out of dirt and brokenness becomes one in our brokenness. We are not lost. We are not alone. Jesus broken body is with us in our mingled brokenness and at this place we become his body for the world that is in need and pain.

These stories actually do speak to me when I find myself in worry mode. Jesus has been present in so many ways and so whatever transpires, he will be there and I will hang on to him.

“Many voices ask for our attention. There is a voice that says, ‘Prove that you are a good person.’ Another voice says, ‘You’d better be ashamed of yourself.’ There also is a voice that says, ‘Nobody really cares about you,’ and one that says, ‘Be sure to become successful, popular, and powerful.’ But underneath all these often very noisy voices is a still, small voice that says, ‘You are my Beloved, my favor rests on you.’ That’s the voice we need most of all to hear. To hear that voice, however, requires special effort; it requires solitude, silence, and a strong determination to listen. That’s what prayer is. It is listening to the voice that calls us ‘my Beloved.’” ~ Henri Nouwen

Grace & Peace, Donna

 

A FRIDAY MEDITATION – Not Today

 

LORD, you have searched me and known me!

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

You discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down

and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

Behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before,

And lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

It is high; I cannot attain it. ~ Psalms 139:1-6

 

 You know that, especially since I’ve been sick, I talk about a lot about staying in the moment.  I know that this moment is all I can count on.  I can’t change the past though I have memories of it both good and bad. I can only project the future and perhaps do some minor planning. Perhaps I may have some influence on it.  God is everywhere, past, present, and future but for the most part he is present to me today. Right now. Today, in the everyday events of my life, God is present.

 

 It would be easy to think that if God is present with us in our day, and if we can stay focused, this should be a great day.  We can hang on to the hem of his robe. We know he wants to heal us. We can relax into that right? But what if this day totally stinks. What if the only thing we can think to say to God, in our present awareness, is “What’s up with this? I thought you were my friend. I thought you loved me.” God listens to our rants but he rarely provides an answer. Some things are a mystery. As I have said before, these are mysteries not to be solved but to be lived.  God has lots of these and he has things to teach us that we need to know, so we trust, at least part of the time that God knows what he is doing and march on.

 

 Let me share a recent day or series of days, really.  It was a stinky day and yet…I’ve been trying to make sense of it for days and it finally started to come together on Wednesday. This happened on Monday, September 25. I had a meeting at the office with two Soul Friends. We had been trying to have this meeting for three months or since I became ill.  I didn’t feel on top of things but I didn’t want to reschedule.  We hadn’t even started our meeting when I became violently sick. I knew I would need meds for nausea and vomiting as well as an ambulance.  I asked my friends to call my husband to come get me. Then it got weird.

 

 Dave got the wheel chair to take me to the car because I couldn’t stand. We got home, the ambulance came and I was in the hospital for five days with septic shock most likely caused by my cancer medication. They told Dave that I was very near death and none of them really expected me to make it. One doctor came into my room that night and said, “Good luck, tonight.”  I thought that a very strange thing for a doctor to say to a patient.   What none of them knew, and what I find difficult to describe, was that I had already made it.

 

 So, let me back up to when I left the church in a wheel chair.  The light was strange and I hadn’t really been able to describe it until now. I’m still not sure that I can. There seemed to be a focal point of very intense white light with rays of blue light radiating from it. It filled my whole vision. The light itself seemed like a star. The star was flashing or pulsating in some way but that image isn’t entirely right, either.  I was being propelled toward it by a force.  My hands were stretched out ahead of me as if I were trying to stop the forward motion. Then there was a greater force that grabbed me back from the light. I saw nothing, I just felt the forward motion jerk to a stop. This great force was loving and powerful. God? The power of a loving God? The power of prayer by His warriors? The power of love? All the above?

 

 Was this light the light that others have mentioned in near-death experiences? Dave and I have talked about some of this.  I remember bits and pieces of what went on around me in ICU.  There was much I do not. My blood pressure was hardly detectable. They didn’t know if they could bring me back.  They didn’t know that God had already made the decision. It was not my day to go.  Not this day.

 

  Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day

For darkness is as light with you. ~ Psalms 139:7-12

 

 

 

Peace and Good,

Donna

 

A FRIDAY MEDATION – Body of Christ

We are the broken, You are the healer
Jesus, Redeemer, mighty to save
You are the love song we’ll sing forever
Bowing before You, blessing Your name
Be Unto Your Name ~ Lynn DeShazo, Gary Sadler

It has been almost two months since I have written a Friday Meditation, and even though I started on Friday, it’s Saturday. Again. Many of you have had updates on my health, others of you have not. The news has been good. I’ll share some of it from time to time. I have planned to write. I sit and stare but nothing comes, so I take a nap. I have been very self-focused. Much time, at least in the first weeks, was taken up with doctor’s appointments and procedures, but you already knew that. I just read over the last two meditations that I wrote. I have wondered if I would be able to get back into this discipline of writing. This is rather long but it’s been eight weeks or so. What can I say? Apparently a lot.

I have managed to stay in the moment, mostly, and not go down the “what if” rabbit trails. I breathe in Jesus, and tell the Enemy to get lost when he tempts me to despair. Right now, with the exception of my stamina, I’m fine. I feel good and I don’t intend to get derailed by what might be. Or what was. I count my blessings and look at my gratitude list. Big list. Here is part of it?

I’m grateful for the medical study that I chose to be part of so that the cancer drug I’m taking might be developed for its next generation. I had a stipulation that I would do it if the people from Anchuitz Medical Research would come up to get the biopsies and take them back to Denver. I didn’t want to drive all that way at this time. OK. Ever. My doctor convinced them to come.

I thank God that we received a grant to pay for my cancer drug. It is unbelievable how much it costs and I don’t know how we could have done it.

I went on a retreat two weeks ago. When I asked how much I owed, I was informed that it had been taken care of. Thank you.

A framed picture of the woman touching Jesus’ robe given to me by my son.
For all the many, numerous prayers offered on our behalf and for my healings.
For the gift cards, cards and flowers, notes, texts, email, etc.

For having very little, if any, pain after surgery to remove part of my colon and repositioning of my plumbing. That a previously diagnosed Stage 4 colon cancer was a stage 2a by the time it was removed so it requires no further treatment. And they were able to do the whole thing by using a robot. Who knew???

A tiny brain tumor was zapped away by one treatment of a very localized burst of radiation in less than 20 minutes not counting preparation.

And those things I’ve been asked not to share. Thank you.

And did I mention all the many prayers?
Thank you, Jesus for your body on earth with skin on.

I could go on, and I will from time to time. The cancer nurse asked if I have a support system to help me through this. There are groups I could join. Of course my answer was a resounding yes. Yes, I have a support group. So many people all over are praying. I have my family and many friends who would drop anything and listen to me all night if the need arose. And, because it’s who I am, I said my Church. She said, “Your church…..” like she had never heard such a thing before. How sad. But it is so true. My family, friends from all over, and my church: all of you – the Body of Christ. Jesus with skin on. I am so grateful.

I remember a dream from several years ago. Actually, my son reminded me of it, recently. I went to an old journal to look it up. This happened shortly before New Year’s Day, 1997. “I was walking around something. It appeared to be an altar in a church. There was nothing on it – no cloth or covering. Then I noticed tiny green succulent type leaves clinging to it. Behind the altar was a terra cotta flower pot. It had broken on the floor and my sense was that it had fallen off of the altar. Dirt, potting type soil, was scattered around and the plant, a vine, was growing from it and climbing up from the dirt to the top of the altar and clinging there. It really was an image and not a long process dream. My only thought, at that time, was “Hmm.” A friend drew a picture for me of the dream image.”

As the next day was New Year’s Day, we had a service at church that included communion. It was a very small service, only three of us, and I had found myself reflecting on that dream. The words, “do not neglect meeting together?” from Hebrews 10 and then the words, “Breaking of the Bread.” I believed that was a message for our church – not to neglect our relationship with Jesus which includes his body, the community of the church and the bread from the altar which we receive so that we become his body with skin on.

I thought quite a bit about brokenness. The pot I live in. Scatteredness. And healing. Climbing back on the Altar where the Broken Bread is and what God has transformed in me from that. Next week, I’ll give you some personal examples from that time and also share with you what my reflections on that dream are today. If you like, you may reflect on it, also. See what it says to you, personally. And be assured, that you are the Body of Christ – Jesus with skin on. You have shown Jesus to me in so many, many ways in the last two months. I know it’s true.

Holy, holy, Lord God Almighty
Worthy is the Lamb Who was slain
Highest praises, honor and glory
Be unto Your name, be unto Your name. ~ Chorus

 

I love you. Stay tuned and stay Blessed,
Donna