Jesus said to his disciples, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.” ~ John 20:21b-23 (NIV)
I thought I was doing pretty well, stress wise, considering all that has been going on in my life lately. The Friday Meditation was nearly finished, so I decided to run a couple of errands with my husband. I needed to take a trip to the Xfinity store to get some of my devices to do what I thought they should be doing but wouldn’t. Also, my phone insisted that I had exceeded its storage capacity and I needed to do something about that.And that was when the trouble began.
I don’t like being talked down to because I think I am fairly intelligent, and to be treated like I don’t know anything about how electronics work just irritated me. Secretly, between you and me, I don’t know much about how they work but that is totally beside the point. The fix-it man wanted to try removing some things from the phone to give it more storage capacity. I wanted to know what would happen when he did. “Nothing,” he said. He asked if I watch movies on my phone. Like, seriously? The screen is four inches wide. When I told him that I didn’t he said I wouldn’t need this app. I told him I wanted it, anyway, because I have some folders I am in the process of removing to my computer. Did he listen? No!! Dave touches my shoulder. Later, I realized that app was gone. No folders. And guess what? There wasn’t enough capacity on my phone to reinstall it. And maybe…I won’t go into any more details.
Except, I was beginning to lose my cool. I just finally walked away and let Dave handle everything. Mainly, because I didn’t want to chew the nice man’s head off and because I was afraid I would cry. I hate that. Dave did tell me, when we got to the car, that I had lost my temper which is pretty unusual for me anymore. I didn’t think I had, really, but when the transaction was finished and we were getting ready to leave, the fixer of phones said that he teaches classes about these things, and I might want to think about taking one sometime. Oh, boy!! I said nothing, but when I got to the car I realized the pile of folders that I hadn’t had time to store and over 1000 photos of grand-kids, among other things, were missing. I came home and ate a LARGE chocolate bar, reinstalled the app I had wanted left on and recovered the folders. The photos will come later because I now have enough room to store all of those, The Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church, and whatever else I want.
What is an apprentice of Jesus to do in these situations? After they’ve blown it? Right now, I’m not sure. I’m not in the forgiving mood, nor do I really want to ask for forgiveness, because I’m having too much fun thinking the nice man is an idiot. Good, huh? Christ-like, right??? Can I just walk up and say, “Mr. Idiot, please forgive me for being a jerk.” Can I say, “I’m sorry Jesus, please forgive me for not showing your face.” Maybe. I want to. “Where’s the joy for you in this?” Julie asks. I wonder. Breathe. I feel a little laughter bubbling up. I need me some Jesus. Some conversation. A hug. Breathe, again. Listen. Ponder. Because, as The Message says in verse 23 above, “If you don’t forgive sins, what are you going to do with them?”