“Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord; Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.” ~ Psalm 130:1-2
For the last couple of weeks, I have been writing about clutter in life, how it accumulates, how it effects our spiritual lives, and how we can start to get rid of that. This week, I cleaned out part of an overgrown flower bed; sorted some books and put some things away in the storage room. Some of that will need to be revisited later, but I needed space to sort. I plan to do more decluttering this summer and I’ll keep you informed on how that’s going.
There is other clutter in our lives, though, that doesn’t necessarily concern our physical surroundings. There could be clutter in our minds, in our bodies and/or in our spirits. This clutter often ends up in the God spaces of our heart and interferes with our hearing and awareness of him. There are periods in my life when I have more trouble with this than at others.
This has been a tough year for me, so far. You know about this, beginning with approximately two months of various illnesses and, then, the ongoing recovery from them. This recovery has been complicated by the serious injuries of my brother, and the aging heart of my mother, in addition to some other family issues. The grey upon grey winter combined with the rain upon rain spring has made it difficult to deal with my seasonal affective disorder, and fibromyalgia flare. I’m sad and I hurt. I begin focusing on issues and, before I know it, there is clutter. I feel heavy and I can’t find my inner music. Usually it is in my head and heart, but until a day or so ago, I couldn’t hear it. Though I know it isn’t true, God seemed absent. Other things are in the way. I stuff it in there. Some of it is whining. So, how do I quite stuffing, stop whining and get rid of this clutter?
“I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,and in his word I put my hope. I wait for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning”. ~ Psalm 130:5-6
Yes. I love this psalm. It’s a song of assent. It’s a “things will get better” song. It is a song of hope. It’s a “God will return” song. It has been put to music and this music has begun to sing in my head and fill my heart. I’m so glad. Music helps dispel whining for me. It pushes away stuffing. Then, I spend more quiet time with God. I continue to follow my Rule of Life. I list my blessings. I thank and praise God for them and for his presence in my life. This week, I remember my brother’s miracle of healing. My husband and I had lunch with two of our great-grand daughters and their mommy. I laugh with them. It feels good. There have been a few days of sun and blue sky this week. I’ve soaked up sun. Thank you, God. I find new flowers in my overgrown garden. I weed and dig in the dirt. I’ve cooked outside on the grill, twice. I spent time with you in community; we pray together and take Communion; we pray for healing; we laugh, we love on each other. I thank God for you. You are God with skin on. Thank you, God. Thank you, community. I am so grateful. I have more inner space. Things are looking up. What more could I ask? What more do I need?