With Open Eyes

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.”

—Ephesians 1:18-19

I prayed for awareness.  I prayed that God would open the eyes of my heart so I that might see him – all around me—in everything, in every face and in every situation.  I haven’t been looking as well as I want and I want to see Jesus.

When my grandson Zac was about seven years old, he and his sisters lived with us for a time. He had ADHD and hated to walk three blocks to school alone.  He was terrified of that and there were times when he wouldn’t walk even with his sisters.  One day, I began walking with him and I was silently fuming, but Zac was very happy.  After a bit he asked, “Grandma, did you ever notice how sparkly the grass is in the morning after it rains?”  Well, not recently I was sure.  We talked later about why he was so afraid to go to school on his own but had no problem at all walking home alone. He was afraid he would get distracted and not get to school on time but he knew he would get home.

Zac, though he didn’t know it, was a spiritual director for me at the moment.  He pointed out to me the divine light of creation in the sparkly grass—The Holy light of God. I saw it.  But I get distracted; sometimes, I forget to look, but I want to.

Then…just recently…I saw a story on Facebook about the discovery of new galaxies forming in the universe.  Many of these galaxies are larger than our own Milky Way.  The tiny, tiny dot of Earth was shown in the midst of the vastness, and there was still more universe than they could see.  I couldn’t breathe.  There were no words.  To see God continually creating!  And he loves me!  Us!  Us! On that tiny, tiny dot.

I saw pain on the face of a friend.  I gave her a hug and asked if she needed to talk.  She did.  I did, too, though I didn’t know it at first.  Jesus knew.

I became aware, while on retreat, that I had taken out too much food for breakfast.  I wasn’t really hungry.  It couldn’t be saved for later and what was thrown away might have been almost enough for someone without.  Forgive me, Lord.

From my writing window, I saw a small flower blooming in tall weeds.  I grabbed my camera and went out in chilly, breezy weather in my robe to capture a photo.  A meditation there, I think, about beauty and the Light of God in the midst of mess.  Always. Always!

On retreat, at our last meal together, we were allowed to talk.  Mostly, we are silent. I mentioned that I was praying for awareness and when asked about it, I told Zac’s story.  One table companion asked me how I get awareness.  “I ask”, I told her. I just ask.  As we were leaving, another gave me his card and said, “Please, send me your research on awareness when you finish.”  Uh…ok!  But, I have no research.  I ask, begin to look, then tell the stories.  I pray I never finish.

“Open our eyes Lord; we want to see Jesus, to reach out and touch Him and say that we love Him.”—Bill Cull

May Jesus bless you with open eyes for your heart,

~ Donna


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