I can’t do this!

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”—Philippians 4:13.

 It was a beautiful morning as I left my house to attend the early Lenten service at church.  It was dark and the moon hadn’t disappeared behind the mountains. It was still high in the sky.  As I returned home, the eastern horizon was on fire with orangey-gold as the sun was rising.  God had just said to it, “It’s time to get up and do it again.” (Smile.)

I hope your Lent is going well.  I must admit that I don’t understand the deep feeling of “inadequacy” that was given me to ponder as my Lenten assignment from God.  We all feel inadequate sometimes don’t we?  I know I do. Some days, I stare at my computer whispering to myself, or maybe to God, “I can’t do this.”  But after I am still for a bit, words begin to come.

When I was young and in school, there were things I really could not do well.  I am lousy at all sports.  I can’t throw or catch a ball.  The ball usually hit me when I tried.  I am not a math person – trust me.  I liked history but I don’t remember dates.  Geography – I don’t remember where places are, but then they don’t stay put anymore do they?  I loved music, especially singing, English, reading – I loved reading – and art.  I did feel inadequate when I couldn’t do well, but I’m ok with that, now.  God didn’t call me to play ball, draw maps, or remember dates. I felt very inadequate raising five children. There may be something that still needs healing here, in which case…the feeling will come back. It is fading, now. God is still working to make inner space in me and transforming me in the process. That’s what he does with us.  Jesus probably felt inadequate on his way to the cross.  He knows how we feel.

Sarah Young, in her book, JESUS CALLING, wrote with Jesus speaking, “…..relax and be on the lookout for what I am doing.  This mind-set will free you to enjoy me and to find what I have planned for you to do.  This is far better than trying to make things go according to your own plan……I can equip you to do absolutely anything, as long as it is my will…..”  God must have inspired Sarah to write this for me. Or maybe it was written for you.  His will is the key.  “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” We all can.

In meditation, I still sit under the tree with Jesus and my path splits to either side of us.  I have a print of this photo in my office and on my Facebook page.  The last few days I have noticed that there is something in my lap as I sit, but I can’t tell if it is a book—the Bible, or a journal?  A math book?  No, that can’t be it. Maybe it is a book of maps or, perhaps, it is my laptop.  (We can do all things, if they are God’s will, through Jesus who strengthens us.)

“I can’t do everything, but I can do something….Lord, what would you have me do?” – From the motto, The Daughters of the King



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