Give me Jesus

“In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus.”

The words to this African American spiritual have been my morning prayer for the last week or two.  It is often shortened to “Give me Jesus” throughout the day.  Sometimes, the prayer sings itself.  It needs to be my prayer though it came without my conscious choosing.  I need Jesus.

I have been grumpy the last few days.  Maybe, cranky is the word.  It might not show in my actions, but I have noticed it in the tone of my voice and the turmoil in my spirit. It’s not surprising given the event and changes that have taken place over the last few weeks and months.  I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin and I’ve noticed my inner attitude might need adjusting. I believed I was doing well.

Yesterday, about an hour before I had to be in church, my hair dryer died with no warning and my hair was very wet.  The smoke detector started beeping signaling a low battery.  The detector, after beeping all day because I couldn’t reach it, didn’t need a battery.  It had died also. It was a very full day, so I didn’t have to listen to it the whole time, but, really.  The final straw was when I lost the draft of The Friday Meditation—the one I thought I was going to write—in the bowels of the computer, somewhere.  I was starting to feel picked on.  “Give me Jesus.”

I meditated on several images from the past week.  One is a Hoya plant I have had for over 30 years who is not fond of change.  If you change any of her environment, she is likely to pout and give up blooming for, maybe, a hundred years.  It’s been at least six so far.

“Dark midnight was my cry.  Give me Jesus.” 

Another is of my neighbor’s maple tree.  I looked out of the window while making the bed and there were tiny swellings on the branches – signs of leaf buds to come.  It was still below freezing.  A blogger I follow posted a picture with his meditation of a tiny pansy blooming in a sunny spot by a wall of our cathedral in Denver.  In mid-winter with snow, ice and cold are signs of new life.  

The final image is a photo.  A tree grows in the middle of a field with a path coming up to it.  The path splits and goes on either side.  I stand there.  Which path is the one to take?  Both are still on the Jesus road because I choose that way, but one is Jesus’ dream for me at this time. It is the new life. The other will also work for his purposes.  So, I wait here.  Give me Jesus.   

“And when I want to sing, and when I want to sing,and when I want to sing, give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus, give me Jesus,you may have all this world, Give me Jesus.”

 

Grace & peace, Donna

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